Sometimes, Silence is Golden

If you follow me on Facebook or Twitter, you may have seen some posts over the past week that indicate things haven’t been rosy in my little corner of the world.  I posted last week the following, “Honesty is the best policy, until someone gets hurt.  And then maybe it isn’t.”

I did something that was completely out of the normal for me last week.  I told someone how I felt about a situation.  The thing I didn’t take into consideration when I sent the email was that person’s feelings and how they felt about the situation.  I say it is out of the normal because if you’ve read my past few blog entries you know I’ve talked about how I’m a people pleaser.  A lot of times I don’t tell people exactly because I don't know what the reaction will be.

I say all this to say the following….I made a mistake.  A big one.  I hurt a very dear friend and I am not sure what the outcome will be.  I can’t take the words back, I can’t change what I said…I can’t change how I feel/felt.  However, I could have been more graceful in how I said what I was feeling.  And more than anything, I could have been more compassionate about how the other person might feel.  I let things become all about me.

If you know me well, then you know this isn’t my personality.  If you know me well, you also know I can’t help but worry and be concerned about the situation.  And finally if you know me well, you know I dwell on things.  So….I’m trying to start a new week on the right foot, but so far, it hasn’t been easy.

Think about what you say and how you’re going to say it.  If you think what you might say could be misinterpreted, wait a little while before saying it, sending that email or picking up the phone and rethink it after some time has passed.  I share this from a lesson learned.

The journey to 40 is not proving to be so easy….

Friendships

Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead.  Don’t walk in front on me; I may not follow.  Just walk beside me and be my friend.  ~Albert Camus

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. ~Henri Nouwen

If you are friends with me on Facebook, you might have noticed a theme over the past few days.  Last night, I posted the following (which was an original thought by me):  True friendship is based on give and take.  You can’t be the one who gives all the time, nor can you be the one who always takes. 

June was a crazy busy month.  I worked at Vacation Bible School and then went “home” for a week to work at Camp Sumatanga.  In the solitude of being at Camp, with very little connection to the outside world, I really began to think about those people that are closest to me.  It gave me a great deal of time to think about and focus on the important things in life.  My last blog post mentioned that it was time for me to set some boundaries and determine when it is time to walk away, rather than continue to give and give.  Obviously I’m still struggling with that or I wouldn’t still be thinking about it.

But while at Camp, with no real connection to the outside world, I discovered some of the things I loved best.  The simplicity of life - watching campers enjoy the great outdoors without electronics being at the forefront of every thought and move; dancing with campers and listening to all the laughter; and sitting on a porch swing talking about life.  It was a great reminder to me that some times we all need to slow down and focus on the important things in life.

So what are those important things in life?  I guess they are different for each one of us, but the most important thing is that it should be things that enhance your life, not take away from it, whether it be relationships, technology, jobs or the every day little things that seem to creep up.