A Journey to 40....What Makes Me Happy?

It should be such an easy question, but in reality it isn’t.  One of my dearest friends made the comment to me this week, “only you can decide your contentment/happiness”.  What powerful words with so much meaning behind them.  I said in my last post that I am a people pleaser.  And I am….so what that often means is I’m more worried about others than I am myself.  I’ve known this about myself for a long time.  But it seems recently, it has been a little harder for me to accept.

So today’s post is about what makes me happy….it is sort of a random list, but I thought it was a start.

Adam and Andrew’s laughter, hugs and kisses
Spending time with my husband, Ken, where we really have time to talk without all of life’s interruptions
Our chosen family, the Roberts and the Kunkels
Daffodils
A really good service at Due West UMC where you can feel the spirit moving
Really good music – live and in person
Singing some of my favorite songs at the top of my lungs while driving alone
Reconnecting with two of my best friends from high school….even years can’t impact some of those friendships
Swinging in the hammock in the backyard
Random texts from friends – just because
That my parents are a big part of my children’s lives
Helping students gain a college education
Time at the Beach
A really good cupcake  :-)

Life is never easy….this week has shown that in so many ways.  I can’t watch the news or listen to some of my favorite songs without being in tears.  My thoughts and prayers go out to all those in Oklahoma.  I can’t even imagine, but I know that God is in control even now and I pray for His hand of comfort and mercy to cover all those impacted by the storms this week.

My journey continues.  Some days are easier than others.  Some days are filled with self-discovery.  But no matter what, it is a journey to discovering me.

A Journey to 40.....Who Am I?

I have been thinking about writing more on my blog for a while.  I guess the "push" I needed happened in our staff meeting on Friday.  A good friend of mine and colleague, Angela, did a session for us on The Happiness Project.  Angela left me a copy of the book.  I haven't started it yet, but I will soon.    

One of the first things Angela talked about was interviewing yourself.  It really got me to thinking about "Who Am I?"  Some of it is easy, I'm the daughter of Tex and Regina.  I'm the wife of Ken and the mommy to Adam and Andrew.  I work at Kennesaw State University.  I volunteer at Due West United Methodist Church where we are active members.  I volunteer at Frey Elementary School.  I love watching Alabama football and drink a Coke every morning.  Ok - so those are some of the things about me, but they don't really define me.  They are part of what make me who I am, but I think there is much more.

I'm a people-pleaser.  I have been since I was a child.  I always wanted teachers to like me.  I wanted to make my parents proud.  I always wanted people to like me.  I would do anything for my friends, even when those same friends wouldn't do the same for me.  And in many ways, that has carried through into my adulthood.  I think in many ways, girls are raised this way or maybe it is just part of our genetic make-up.  But it many ways it can also be a detriment.  I have always tried so hard to please everyone else that in many ways I just take on what ever they do.  For example, liking the same food as someone else, liking the same music, etc.  If you like all the same things, everyone is happy right?  Well maybe not.

So, it was pretty hard for me to interview myself.  I've always known this was an issue for me, because in social settings I rarely like to make a decision.  I can make one professionally with no issues.  But ask me where to go to lunch, and most often my answer is "I don't care".  Ask me what I'd like to do with my free time, and most often my answer is "it doesn't matter".  Ask me what kind of drink I want when I'm out with friends and a lot of times you'll hear me say "what are you drinking?"

A part of my journey is trying to determine who I am.  First and foremost, I know I am a child of God.  Am I perfect?  Not by a long shot.  Do I disappoint Him?  Of course I do.  Can I ask for forgiveness?  Absolutely.

I have a fantastic family - husband, children, parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.  I also have a very few close friends that we call our chosen family.  We're closer to them than we are some of our extended family.

After those two categories are covered, I start to struggle a bit more with identifying who I am.  And maybe more importantly, who I want to be.  I have a feeling the next few months will be a journey and I'm looking forward to what I can discover and change about myself as I approach a new "first number" of my age.  

~S

It's Been A While....

It's been over two years since I've posted on our blog.  I seem to spend most of my time on Facebook these days.  But, as my journey to 40 begins, I've decided that it is time to spend a little time putting my thoughts to "paper"' and start blogging again.  The blog may change its tone for a while....it won't all be filled with posts about the kids and what's happening, but more about the changes I want to make as I approach the changing of the "front number" of my age.

But, since it's been two years, there is a little catching up to do.  I changed jobs in October of 2011 and have never been happier.  I love working at Kennesaw State University.  It's easy to love the commute (8 miles from home), but more than that, I love what I'm doing.  I love knowing that I'm helping students get an education.  I work with some great folks and am so very glad I made the change.  

Adam is in 2nd grade (for a few more weeks) and is loving school.  He's one smart cookie.  He impresses me most every day with the things that he comes up with.  Andrew will graduate from Pre-K in a couple of weeks.  He'll start Kindergarten in the fall and will also be at Frey Elementary.  It will be nice to have them both at the same school.  I know they'll both enjoy it.  

Ken is still with IBM and enjoying his job.  He is back to working from home several days a week and enjoys being around the house.

Bailey is our almost 80lb lab mix and we all love her.  She is a great dog and protector of our family.

Just so you'd have an update, I've included one of our photos from this past fall.  So, here's the brief update, but watch for more to come.